It feels so frustrating when there is a change you want to create and you know you are getting in your own way of the results you want to achieve but don’t really know the best way to deal with that effectively.
If you don’t get a grip on the ways you are getting in your own way, they can lead to sabotaging your progress and feeling stuck at best and, at worst, stop you from achieving the outcome you want totally.
Getting in your own way can show up in many forms. For example, behaviours like procrastination, self-sabotaging, making excuses, avoiding taking action, being inconsistent, wasting time, etc.
If you want to find ways to overcome this, there is something important you need to know.
These behaviours aren't actually related to the change itself. It comes from the stories you are telling yourself about it. It comes from your emotions and feelings about it. It comes from your thoughts and mindset.
The reason it is so important to be aware of that is because those things have a big impact on how you behave. And how you behave drives your results.
So, see getting in your own way for what it really is. It is a symptom of something else that is going on for you internally that exhibits itself in the form of certain behaviours. But if your behaviours are just symptoms, what is the source that triggers them? And how do you deal with that effectively so you can stop getting in your own way?
Well, focusing on creating clarity and awareness on what the source is that is driving your behaviours, is a great place to start. It will help you get on the path to identify a plan of action to overcome those things so you can get out of your own way and achieve the outcomes you desire.
Here are four steps to help you get started with that:
Step 1 – Ask yourself, “what specific behaviours am I exhibiting that result in me getting in my own way with this change?”
Identify the behaviours that you suspect or know are part of the problem.
Step 2 – Ask yourself, “what thoughts, feelings, and emotions are triggering those behaviours?”
External behaviours are commonly a reflection of what is going on internally. When you know the mindset, emotions, and feelings that are driving your actions you are putting yourself in the driving seat to manage them effectively. Identify the thoughts, emotions, and feelings that are driving your behaviours.
Step 3 – Ask yourself, “why am I feeling and/or thinking that?”
If you know why you experience a certain emotion, feeling, or mindset you can be proactive with dealing with it effectively so that it doesn’t negatively impact your progress and results.
Maybe it’s that niggling voice that says you aren’t good enough. Maybe it is fear, self-doubt, imposter syndrome, or limiting beliefs. Maybe it is difficulty dealing with uncertainty. Maybe it is none of those things and it is something else for you.
The point is, if you know what is triggering the emotions, feelings, and mindset that are driving your behaviour and actions you can do something about it.
Once you are clear on this, you have found the source of why you are getting in your own way.
Step 4 – Do something about it!
Having clarity about what is going on will change nothing. It is what you do with that information next that matters and will make a difference. Use what came up for you in steps 1 – 3 to work out what your next steps are to address the situation.
The bottom line:
Getting in your own way can feel difficult to navigate and resolve. But it can always be overcome. You just need to commit to finding a way. This four-step process is a great way to get some clarity and get started so you can get out of your own way and create change successfully.
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