4 Steps to Build a Life That Feels Right For You

It’s one thing knowing that you want things to be different in your life and work; it’s another thing altogether figuring out exactly what needs to change, what you truly want, and feeling confident that any changes you make are right for you.

And that is the point where people often get stuck.

I know exactly how that feels. I experienced that when I wanted to leave my corporate career. I had known for a long time that it wasn’t what I wanted anymore, but I wasn’t clear what I wanted instead. Even as I started to consider options and ideas, I didn’t know how to be sure they would be right for me.

I eventually figured out how to navigate all of that. Over the years, it has evolved into a four-step process that I use to guide decisions and changes in my life and work. It is the foundation on which I have built each chapter of my personal and professional life for the last twenty-five years.

Here are my four steps to help you get clear on what you want, based on what matters most to you, and build a life that feels right for you:

Step 1: Align

Aligning your life and work with your values and what matters most to you is key to creating a life that feels right for you.

To get clarity on this, ask yourself these two questions:

- What values, if I built my life and work around them, would help me create a fulfilling and meaningful life?

- What truly matters most to me? What do I really want for my life and work?

Use your answers to identify your core values and what truly matters most to you.

Step 2: Define

Whose definition of success are you living and working by?

I ask this because many people conform to a definition of success that has been conditioned by society, culture, family, friends, peers, colleagues and work environments. 

But what if you defined success for yourself, based on your values and what truly matters most to you?

Using the values you identified in Step 1, create your own definition of what a successful life and work look like for you.

Step 3: Imagine

Imagine what your life and work would be like if you built them around the values you identified in Step 1 and your own definition of success from Step 2.

What would your days be like? How would you spend your time? What would your work look like? How would your life feel?

Imagine it in as much detail as you can. The clearer you are on what you want to create, the more specific you can be about what needs to change and the plans you make to turn it into reality.

Step 4: Build

Once you have completed the first three steps, you’ll be clear on what matters most to you, have your own definition of success, have a clear picture of the life and work you want to create, and feel confident it is right for you.

Now it’s time to start turning what you want into reality.

Think of it like building a house. The first three steps are your foundations. The stronger those foundations are, the better equipped you will be to build what matters most to you.

Start by looking at the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. What can you do to bridge that gap? What needs to change?

Make a plan to start making it happen.

Important note:

Don’t treat this as a once and done exercise. I recommend working through the process once a year because circumstances change, we change, and different stages of life bring different priorities. What you wanted 5, 10, or 20 years ago might be very different from what matters most to you now.  

Some years you might work through it and nothing needs to change, or there are just some small tweaks that you want to make. And sometimes, you might realise it’s time to make a bigger change and create a new chapter. 

Working through this process regularly helps you make sure the life you're building continues to feel right for you and helps you recognise when it's time for something to change.